Flight
by Macalaure
Summary: [VI] Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return. NOTE: contains the fall from grace, also contains some birds. To be rewritten yet again.
1. Flight v 2

**FLIGHT**

- Macalaure -

SEVEN YEAR-OLD TERRA BRANFORD wishes she could remember how to fly. In her dreams she would lift one leg, and then the other, and float off the ground and into the waiting arms of the sky. In her dreams she could feel its embrace, its breath on her cheek like a lover, warm and exhilarating. In her dreams she remembers, with a clarity and precision like nothing else she had known in her young life, the glory of flight. But when she tries now, even as she jumps and pines in wild anticipation, her feet stay planted in the stone, and her heart anchored to the ground.

She lays instead, spread-eagle, across the cold stone of the roof of the palace at Vector. High above, the sky opens up in vibrant pinks and purples as the orange sun sags lower and lower in the sky. She beholds an eclipse of its light, shapeless black blotches that obscure its brilliant rays as they flit to and fro across the radiant plane. She reaches for them, hands outstretched, beckoning for them to swoop down and fly her away, but they remain isolated, part of a different world.

Long ago, when she was only a child, Cid told her their names. And she whispers them now to herself as they soar by in her mind's eye. Tiny things they are, perhaps that was why they are able to fly. Perhaps when she was much smaller she could fly also, but now that she is bigger, her body has forgotten, and all that remembers are her dreams...

**Little Bronze Cuckoo**

The room was dim, illuminated only by the light of three solitary candles. Terra was too young to understand why the lights weren't working and the electric heater wasn't radiating heat from its bowels, so she sat patiently on the bed and waited for Cid to return, trying and failing to subdue her own fidgeting. Finally, the door swung open, but when Cid appeared, he was escorting a young blonde girl. She entered the doorway cautiously and peeked around inside. Spotting Terra, she made her way over to her in long, elegant strides.

Cid followed behind her, bemused, and took his place at her back. He gestured to the girl with a weathered hand and told the girl, "Terra, I want to introduce you to Celes. Guess what, she can use magic like you."

The girl was tall, taller than Terra, with lucid blue eyes and her blonde hair pulled back in a braid. She looked older and more dignified. Terra stood on her tip toes in a vain attempt to reach a similar height, but quickly gave up. Eventually, she boldly stuck out a hand and looked up at the other girl. "Hi, I'm Terra," she announced.

The older girl adopted a knowing look. "I know," she replied matter-of-factly, "Cid just introduced us."

Terra's eyes dropped and she felt her cheeks grow hot. But as is the case with all children, she couldn't remain attached to one emotion for long, and curiosity came to the forefront. "So can you really use magic?" she asked, the emotion unadulterated on her face.

The older girl grinned, revealing white teeth that gleamed in the dim light. "Watch," she instructed. Her eyes glazed over and her blonde hair streamed out behind her. Suddenly, the flames of the candles flickered, spat, and then flared, casting strange shadows on the walls the floor.

Terra gasped, turning to face the now roaring flames. Cautiously, she prodded one with her finger, and the flame jumped from the wick to her bare skin, sliding around her hand until she extinguished it in her closed fist. She turned back to Celes, eyes shining. "That was amazing," she gushed.

The older girl dropped her gaze and wrung her hands together. "Thanks," she mumbled, "I taught myself. I could teach you," she added, as an afterthought.

A smile spread across Terra's face as she nodded quickly and vigorously. Celes extended her hand to the younger girl and they stepped lightly from the room and out into the hall. Cid followed them, leaning against the doorframe as he watched the two girls skip down the hall. He shut the door behind him, and followed them slowly, chuckling to himself.

Behind the closed door, the flames sputtered and choked; the room dimmed as the light burned itself out. Finally, without a sound, the flames winked out of existence, and the room surrendered itself to darkness.

**Blue Jay**

"Celes?"

"Yes, Terra?"

"How do you braid your hair?"

"Well you need three stands, and then you kind of weave them together. The outside one goes on top, and then - here let me show you."

"Like this?"

"Well..."

"This is too hard. Can you just do mine for me? It's always pretty when you do it."

"Oh all right, I suppose so."

"Celes?"

"Mhmm?"

"Have you ever been outside?"

"Of course, silly. We were outside in the garden just last week, remember?"

"But…that's not what I meant,"

"Well, what did you mean?"

"I meant have you ever been outside, outside. Like outside the castle? I asked Cid where people got enough wood to build the great big table in the dining hall and he said there were trees hundreds of feet tall and five men holding hands couldn't wrap around their trunks. The ones in the garden aren't very big or very tall. Have you ever seen a hundred-foot-tall tree?"

"What are you going on about? There's no such trees that tall."

"Oh, well have you ever been outside, outside?"

"Of course I haven't been outside the castle. You know that's not allowed."

"I know, I was just wondering."

**Zebra Dove**

As the anthem rang forth once more, Terra began to think that sometimes it was a bother sharing a room with her friend. "No, Terra, I'm not going to do it and neither are you."

They were sitting in the bedroom again and outside the window, afternoon was turning into evening. The shadows were lengthening and casting strange shapes on the walls and floor as the big orange sun sagged lower in the sky. The two girls sat on the beds, and Terra's face bore a pout. "Come on," she whined to her friend. "Can't you see how pretty it is?" she asked, gesturing outside.

Celes offered barely a glance outside the window before returning to the book she was reading. "Yes, that's the point. Why can't you watch it from in here?" the older girl shot back.

Terra rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Look at the window," she pointed out. "It's like half a meter by half a meter. You can't even anything unless you hang from the ceiling like th-"

The resounding crash shook the room and caused Celes to drop the book she had been holding. She lowered her gaze to the girl in a heap on the floor at the foot of the window, pointing upwards at the sky painted brilliant orange. "Look, Terra, you are not sneaking outside to watch the sunset. It's past curfew and we're supposed to stay inside."

The emerald haired girl pouted. "Come on Celes, we don't even have to go all the way outside. We can just go out into the garden." The castle in Vector formed a U-shape around the garden at the center, in the middle of the three walls. Terra had noticed one evening that the only side that wasn't covered by towering stone was the direction that the sun set in. She couldn't help wondering if it had been built that way on purpose.

Celes shook her head and laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Even that's not allowed. You've heard what everyone says, we're not supposed to be out after dark."

Terra frowned inwardly as she realized she wasn't going to win this with argument, and she slumped her shoulders in a facade of defeat. "Okay, you win," she sighed and stood up. Then, in one quick motion, she pivoted and sprinted for the door, grabbing Celes' book on the way out for good measure. Before the older girl could register what was occurring, the door was swinging freely on its hinges and Terra's emerald hair was fanning out behind her as she ran down the hallway.

"Terra, oh no you…ARGH!" Celes let out an uncharacteristic yell of frustration and paced around the room several times. Then setting her shoulders, she sprinted out the door after Terra, pausing only to grab a basket on the way out. She navigated the hallways with ease and ended promptly in the garden. The effects of the setting sun were magnified in this strange setting as the shadows of the trees played over each other, layering the ground with levels of increasing darkness. Strange patterns shifted and churned with the wind swaying in the branches.

In the center of the garden sat Terra. Upon hearing footsteps behind her she turned and smiled at Celes, patting the ground beside her. "I knew you would come," she said, a knowing smile crossing her face.

Annoyed, yet still graceful, Celes made her way over to the girl in long strides and smacked her on the back of the head. Terra looked up, scratching her head and said, "I guess I deserved that one." She handed the older girl her book, and Celes sat down gracefully beside her.

There was a long silence as the sun made its way across the sky and the lip dipped below the mountains on the horizon; Terra gazed, eyes fixated on the setting sun, and Celes kept her nose in her book. The sky was painted in brilliant pinks and purples that formed the backdrop for the brilliant orange orb. Birds chipped and the wind rustled through the leaves of the trees, whistling an eery tune. Presently, Terra turned to her friend and asked, "Isn't it pretty? Admit it, it was worth it." Celes looked up grudgingly. She had to admit it was pretty, but she wasn't ready to sympathize with the girl yet. "I'm just here to do the talking if we get caught," she nudged the basket with her elbow. "If anyone asks, we're collecting pieces of glass for Cid to melt down and use in his new machine."

Terra nodded and turned back to the horizon, noting the older girl's line of sight passing over the top of the pages and out at the horizon; she hid a smile. The two girls sat side by side as the sun dipped below the mountains and darkness descended on the landscape.

**Magpie**

Terra sleeps...

...I wake, yet I still sleep.

I wake, and can feel the cold, hard ground beneath me. _Is this body my own?_

Blonde hair is fanned out about my head and I am clad in a thin red dress I do not recognize.

The cold ground beneath beneath me thuds with the vibrations of heavy footsteps.

_Right…left…right…left…_

I sense his presence before I see him. Some kind of feral beast that approaches with horns barred and teeth gnashing. I look up.

Gray eyes stare back, piercing my soul. Something stirs within me - _father_ - and a shiver runs through my core.

He bends down, scooping me into his arms. _I am a child_. I fall limp in his arms, and my eyes close as my head lolls against his shoulder...

...I wake, again, in a solitary room. I can hear a creak, as the door swings open and the massive figure emerges.

He is tall, but gentle. A warm hand caresses my face as he sits in the chair beside me.

And yet, I recoil at the touch, at the foreignness, at the intrusion. My eyes are raised against my will and bare his piercing gaze. I want to wake, and end this nightmare.

The hand draws back and the figure at the bedside departs, the door swinging slowly shut behind him...

...I flee, the rocky terrain beneath my feet tears at the souls, bare to the rough and cutting ground.

The gate stands before me in glorious majesty, sheer stone walls and swirling currents of energy; eddies of magic that curl and wind around my legs and arms.

They embrace me._ Sister, mother, daughter, lover_.

The walls open up, inviting me forward, but I turn back.

He is there, and there is no defense against the piercing gaze. It burns, and stepping forward is the hardest thing I have ever done.

I take a step...

...and fall to the ground. I cannot move, I cannot breathe, mind betrayed to the mysterious energy that dwells in the tunnel.

I feel his strong arms and I am no longer afraid - _I am afraid _- they encircle me, offering comfort, strength - _fear_ - and protection.

I melt.

The sky pulses and presses down from all sides. The room burns with hungry tongues. I walk in a field of shards of broken glass...

...I wake.

**Yellow Canary**

"It's beautiful out there."

"Yeah, it is."

"How hard do you think it would be?"

"When are you going to learn to ask a question clearly?"

"I mean living out there, like out in the wild. You know, camping, fishing, hunting. It can't be hard, and I suppose magic would help."

"Don't do that, you know you're not supposed to use magic except during our lessons."

"Sorry. Well, what do you think?"

"Why do you ask so many ridiculous questions."

"Don't you ever wonder?"

"Of course not. I have a bed, and roof, and three meals a day right here. Why should I worry about having to live in the wild?"

"Don't you ever get tired of this place?"

"What's there to get tired of?"

"Everything around us. It's a world of panels and gray scales. Imagine the whole world out there just like this garden only a hundred times bigger. We could come and go as we pleased, eat whenever we wanted, and not have to tell Cid every damn time we want to go get a breath of fresh air! We're living in a cage, and don't tell me you don't see it."

"Well, say something."

"Look, Terra. Maybe we are living in a cage, but who's to say what's out there is better. The grass is always greener, right? And maybe you're right this industrial landscape is nothing to live for, but do you know what I see when I look out my window every night? Dirt, brown grass, and a dying world. Whatever is wrong with the world in here, I can assure you out there, it's much worse."

"That's really what you see? What about the animals and plants and trees and clouds. Everything is vibrant and beautiful compared to the monotone in here. I am sincerely sorry if that's all you see when you look outside."

**Peacock**

Celes wakes to the darkness that surrounds the room. It is suffocating and all-encompassing, and yet, not absolute. In the dim light, she can see the empty bed beside her, covers pushed back in haste, pillow lying abandoned on the floor. She sits up, calling uncertainly, "Terra." Darkness and echoes answer back.

She rises quickly, donning a robe and stepping softly to the door which she now notices is slightly ajar. It is hence that the dim light that illuminates the room comes. Eyes covering the empty room one last time, she turns and slips into the night.

Emerging in the hall, she steps lightly along the pass, heart thudding inexplicably with each noise that sounds in the near darkness. She reaches the staircase and ascends, cringing as the penultimate step creaks with a noise divine. She approaches the top, and suddenly she is flooded with light.

The stars above light the scene before her, illuminating the figure standing at the prow formed at the corner of the building. Arms extended and chest out, she stands proud, embracing the night sky as an old friend. Her hair is down and the wind blows it up in curtains behind her upturned chin. It fans out at her back in a web of emerald. She is regal, she is immaculate, she is magnificent; the stars in the sky pay homage to her beauty as they shine down their sacred light. If Celes squints, pushing the edge of the roof outside her field of vision, she can imagine the figure before her in glorious flight, soaring above the stone walls of the castle and out into the lands beyond…

**Ostrich**

…for the fleetest of moments, Celes feels the urge to call out, but something holds her back. She senses an innate, sparkling beauty about the scene that her presence threatens to destroy. So she observes like this in silence. But the longer she watches the greater and more uncomfortable the sense of intrusion grew. She feels completely and utterly alienated by Terra's intrinsic link to the scene; she is a part of it and Celes is not.

She shivers suddenly as the prevailing winds wash over her, unrelenting in their effort to overpower. Their touch is not comforting to Celes, but frigid and biting.

Solemnly, she retreats down the staircase. Only once the stars and the night sky and the biting wind and the majestic figure perched atop her throne have disappeared and she is safe within her fortress of stone does Celes feel at ease. Cid had taken her on an airship once when she was a little girl. The skies had tore at her hair and skin with its icy fingers and been as painful as they were tonight.

Celes could not stand flight.

**Rooster**

The rain lashed against the foggy windows, darkening the landscape outside with clouds. Inside the electricity was out once again, and Terra sat at a table in the dining hall lit only by candlelight, shoveling food mechanically into her mouth. As she reached for another helping of stew, she felt someone sit down across from her. Raising her eyes, she sighed outwardly as she recognized the iconic blonde hair and blue eyes. Terra gestured at her bowl with a spoon and Celes nodded. "Sure I'll have one, thanks Terra."

Terra ladled a helping of steaming stew into a ceramic bowl and handed it to Celes across the table. The woman took it and the two ate in silence for a while. To anyone passing by, the tension in the room was obvious, its presence more noticeable than an elephant, but the space was empty save for them.

Finally, the silence was broken as Terra spoke. "Celes how come you never come to see me anymore? It seems like you're always off on some official business somewhere or other. I didn't know being an imperial general was such a big deal," she said, failing to keep a sarcastic edge out of her voice.

Celes sighed and decided to ignore her friend's moodiness. "I know Terra, I'm really sorry. I promise I'll work something out soon," she assured.

"How about tomorrow?"

A shadow crossed Celes' face and her gaze fell guiltily. "I can't tomorrow, I've got a meeting with the king of Figaro. The treaty is not on very stable legs and the emperor needs someone to go work things out."

"Figures," Terra said sarcastically. "And why can't Leo go?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Celes shot back defensively. Terra turned her eyes back to her food and Celes frowned. "Look," she told Terra, "That's just what the emperor told me. I'm just following orders."

Terra looked up once more and her eyes flashed dangerously. "And how is _our_ emperor faring these days?" she asked all too calmly.

Celes adopted a puzzled look, "I assume he is well. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," Terra told her, trying and failing to keep a cold edge out of her voice that Celes didn't fail to notice.

"Terra, is something wrong?" she asked calmly.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Of course nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I'm sure tomorrow's negotiations will go just as well as Maranda's."

Guilt turned to pain, and Terra knew she was on dangerous ground but she didn't care. "Please Terra, don-"

"Oh, please Terra, don't worry Terra, let's not talk about it Terra, why don't you go talk about it with the emperor then."

A hard light formed behind the general's eyes, a glare that dared her to continue, and for a moment Terra felt apprehensive. But she swallowed it down. "Fourteen dead, and now the city burns," she said, now a whisper. "And you continue to serve him."

So very rarely did Celes lose her composure. And when she did show emotion it was usually of the barest variety, happiness, displeasure, anger. She took two steps forward until she was directly in front of Terra. "And you," she jabbed a finger at the younger girl, "All high and mighty. Making judgements while you sit alone in your room all day. I am serving my state and my emperor in the way I know how, more than I can say for you."

Astonished, Terra looked up at her friend. In some ways, very little had changed since they were kids. Terra was still much shorter than Celes and now she stood on her toes once more as she opened her mouth. "You serve a corrupt state and a corrupt emperor," she spat. "You think this position as general gives you freedom, but it does nothing to lift the cage around you. In fact, it tightens it, and the only difference now is instead of just being a prisoner you're a puppet as well!"

Celes took another step forward and her extended finger now poked Terra in the chest. "The empire is not corrupt, you're just jealous I got the position instead of you. You witch."

"Take your hand off me," came the voice, low and cold. A fire burned behind Terra's eyes and Celes could feel the energy swirling just underneath the surface, but now it was directed at her. All around her, candles flared, blazing hungry flames high into the drafty space of the room. Their tongues crackled and burned, reaching hungrily for Celes. She backed away, and never taking her eyes from the emerald hair billowing around Terra's face, she circled the girl and retreated out the door. It swung shut as she left.

The light dimmed behind Terra's eyes, and she felt the magic and adrenaline leave her. She slowly came to her senses, only now noticing the empty room and the blazing fires that were dying with the energy that departed her. Spent, she fell to the floor shaking; a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the cold stone.

**Great Horned Owl**

"Get out of my way," Celes roars, shoving a sentry aside as she barreled down a hallway.

General Celes had been gone all day on a mission to Figaro and was tired and ready to sleep by the time she had returned to Vector. But as soon as the company had come within sight of the castle Celes had sensed something was wrong, and then they saw the smoke. The envoy raced towards the huge stone walls of the city. A company split off to go identify the source of the fire, and the rest escorted General Celes into the castle.

She had been met by Cid at the steps of the entrance who had pulled her into a rough embrace. "Thank god you're alright."

She nodded and then pulled back. "What happened here?"

Suddenly, the man grew grim. Hesitating, he told her, "Somebody...put fire to the soldier's barracks. The whole damn building went up in flames. Fifty of them killed in the blink of an eye."

"Who?"

The old man simply shook his head.

"Who was it?"

His eyes downcast, he muttered into the dark stone floors, "Kefka and Gestahl pushed her too far. They, they-"

"Cid, who burned the barracks."

He just looked on sadly, lost in the terror of the event.

So Celes sprints down the hallways and skids to a stop in front of Terra's room, kicking open the door. The room is empty. Turning in her tracks, she runs blindly until she encounters a servant. "Where's Terra?" she asks urgently, fear rising in her voice.

The servant frowns. "That green-haired witch who burned the barracks? She was taken to the dungeons," she says contemptuously.

She leaves the servant behind before she us done speaking, sprinting for the stairs...

**Lappet-faced Vulture**

…as Celes reaches the rickety tunnel that leads into the dungeon and descends the stairs she hears an odd cackle. "Why General Celes, what brings you down here?"

From the darkness, steps a flamboyant figure with a painted face, dressed in reds, yellows, and vibrant greens. He smiles an inhuman smile as he slowly approaches. "Kefka, tell me where Terra is," she says softly.

The clown's smile grows even bigger, if possible. "Why I'm afraid she's...occupied at the moment, but you can go and see her tomorrow, I assure you," he says, giving her a little bow…

**Mockingbird**

…it is so damn dark. Celes closes her eyes and summons the power inside of her. Channeling it through the stale air, the row of torches burn with a new light. The hall is lined with rows of cells. Most are empty, but the one nearest her is occupied by a small figure kneeling at the wall. Eyes catch a glimpse of tinged emerald and Celes' heart stops. "Terra!" she screams, and descends the stairs in a flight of agony.

The figure looks up and rises to a standing position. Her eyes are dim and lifeless and her emerald hair falls in burnt strands about her pale face. She wears a tattered dress that is torn to shreds and barely covers her body scarred with burns. Her blank gaze seems to pass straight through Celes's body.

The clown smiles and cackles again. "Well, isn't that tragic! She doesn't seem to recognize you."

Celes turns, fury and fear reflected in her eyes. "Kefka," she screams, hand leaping to the hilt at her hip. "What have you done to her? Tell me or I'll-"

Suddenly, his joking manner drops and the temperature in the room seems to plummet. "Or what, may I ask?" the clown asks, still smiling, eyes twinkling dangerously.

"Kefka! You killed her!"

"Nonsense," he says sensibly, "There she is, right in front of you." he gestures to the cell where the figure has returned to the floor.

Celes runs to her, and pushes a hand through the bars of the cage. She touches her hair for a moment before Terra recoils as if she had been burned. "You killed her spirit," she screams at the clown.

"The body can live without the spirit."

She screams again and leaps at him.

"Well there's no need to be rude," Kefka speaks pleasantly, batting her hand out of the way with surprising reflexes and grabbing her by the back of the neck. "There'll be plenty of time to have a nice reunion with your little pet tomorrow." And he starts up the stairway, leading her firmly, with an iron hand on her neck, back into the main castle. Celes struggles against him but it is for naught. The vice grip on her neck grows tight and her tendons draw taut. Just below the surface of his skin, she can sense hot energy boiling and churning. She ignores her observations however and lashes out, striking him in the stomach with her elbow. The back of her neck grows hot, and as it spreads to her head, her vision goes black.

She wakes in her room. The door is locked. She stands there for a moment before sinking to the floor slowly, and then General Celes begins to cry. She sheds tears for her imprisonment and for her blindness; for the stone walls and damp floors that now encase her dearest friend; for all that she lost and all that she will lose; and she cries out in agony for Terra's ability to see through the bars and out into a lush, green world, and her inability to do the same.

**Black Swan**

Celes returned to the dungeons the next day to find Terra gone. Cid told her that she had been assigned a mission to go to Narshe and retrieve an esper that had been uncovered in the mines.

"Terra? Cooperating with the empire?" she had asked him incredulously.

Cid had shook his head in sorrow. "I doubt she had much of a choice," he confessed. "She did kill fifty soldiers after all."

Celes had left after that, unable to hear anymore. She locked herself in her room for three days, leaving food that was pushed under the door untouched, watching as the plates piled up, rotted, and were set on by insects. She tried to cry, but she found she had no tears left. She spent the time looking out her tiny half meter by half meter window and trying to see things through Terra's eyes. But to her, the whole landscape, as far as she could see through, was barren and dry and dead.

When General Celes emerged from her room after the third day she was a different person. To those with relations before, she had been gentle and kind, but well reserved. Now she was ice cold. She received the news of Bicks, Wedge, and Terra's death without flinching. She returned to her post as general and completed missions with ruthless efficiency, not balking at inhumanity and torture to achieve her goals.

One day, as she left the throne room after being debriefed, Emperor Gestahl smiled to himself. He was quite impressed with what they had created. He would need to congratulate Kefka on how expertly the whole situation had been orchestrated.

**Spotted Hawk**

...As the seven year-old child looks skyward, a shadow passes over her prone form. Footsteps sound behind her and she turns her head from the captivating, majestic sight to see Cid standing at the top of the staircase. He walks to her and sits heavily beside her. "What's that one up there called?" the child asks, pointing a stubby finger at the great bird that circles above.

The old man takes a moment to study it, eyes glazed over, fingers tapping once, twice, on his chin. "A spotted hawk, sweetheart," he tells her smiling, but her gaze has already returned to the magnificent creature.

"Cid," the child asks, and the man is amazed at her tone of curiosity and innocence. "Did I ever know how to fly?"

The man shakes his head in bewilderment. "Terra, silly, you know people can't fly."

The child frowns and stares at the bird as it climbs high into the sky and disappears into the clouds and darkness. "But I feel as if I could all the same," she whispers wistfully, and Cid has no response.

"Come," he instructs, beckoning. "The sun sets, and you must sleep." He takes her by the hand and leads her off the roof and below, into the depths of her prison of stone. The orange sun completes its descent below the far off mountains and the last light of day disappears from the land. And yet, high above, the majestic hawk sounds its barbaric yawp, transcending the darkness and the high stone walls and sturdy iron doors. It swoops down from the heavens, gracing all below with its presence, and for the fleetest of moments, the small child looking back as she descended the stairs, felt free.

* * *

Some Bird Notes

1. Cuckoo has a habit called brood parasitism where it lays eggs in the nest of another bird who then proceeds to take care of the young as its own.

2. A magpie is one of the smartest birds in the world, and is the only bird able to pass the mirror test and thus is understood to have self-awareness. In other words, it can look in a mirror and recognize itself.

3. The albatross was known to be a good omen to ships unless it was killed. In The Rime of an Ancient Mariner, a sailor kills an albatross and is forced to wear it for the rest of their shortened journey to remind him of the doom he caused.

4. A lappet is a useless ornament worn as a garment during Victorian times, used primarily by the aristocracy to show off their wealth. The bird is so named for its seemingly useless flap hanging from the underside of its head.

6. The spotted hawk is the bird that flies by Whitman in his epic poem Song of Myself.

7. The rest you should be able to figure out yourself. I like bird symbolism a lot so check my profile for some other common ones.


	2. Flight

**FL I G HT**

- BlindManOnLadder -

_"Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."  
Leonardo da Vinci_

**:i:**

**Spotted Hawk**

Seven-year-old Terra Branford wished she remembered how to fly. As the sun set over the industrial landscape of Vector, she lay, sprawled out on the roof of the castle, watching the brilliant orange orb disappear beneath the horizon. The sky overhead was bathed in pinks and purples and looked an inviting departure from the gray scale world of iron and stone that surrounded the child. In her dreams, she remembered lifting one leg, then the other and floating high over the walls of the castle on the wings of cherubim and into the waiting sky. She tried so now, but her feet stayed planted in the stone and her heart anchored to the ground. Instead she watched the birds as they sailed high above where she could not reach. Cid had told her their names and she whispered them quietly to herself as they flew past: sparrow, finch, pigeon, tern. Tiny things they were, perhaps that was why they were able to fly. Perhaps when she was much smaller she had been able to fly, but as she had aged, she had forgotten, and now remembered only in her dreams.

She watched now, with the sorrow of regret as the tiny creatures glided by, spiraling higher and higher into the darkening sky. Their shadows flitted about on the roof, appearing and disappearing from her sight on a whim, and as she watched, a creature of dignity and grace soared overhead. This beast was different than the tiny birds that came before, and they fled in the wake of its presence. The dying rays of the sun reflected off its regal plumage and illuminated it in a brilliant light.

Footsteps sounded behind her and she turned her head from the captivating, majestic sight to see Cid standing at the top of the staircase. He walked to her and sat heavily beside her prone form. "What's that one up there called?" the child asked, pointing a stubby finger at the great bird that circled above.

The man took a moment to study it, eyes glazed over, fingers tapping once, twice, on his chin. "A spotted hawk, sweetheart," he told her smiling, but her gaze had already returned to the magnificent creature.

"Cid," the child asked, and the man was amazed at her tone of genuine curiosity and innocence. "did I ever know how to fly?"

The man shook his head in bewilderment. "Terra, silly, you know people can't fly."

The child frowned and stared at the bird as it climbed high into the sky and disappeared into the clouds and darkness. "But I feel like I could all the same," she whispered wistfully, and Cid had no response.

"Come," he instructed, beckoning. "The sun sets, and you must sleep." He took her by the hand and led her off the roof and below, into the depths of the dungeon of stone. The orange sun completed its descent below the far off mountains and the last light of day disappeared from the land. High above, the majestic bird sounded its barbaric yawp, transcending the high stone walls and sturdy iron doors. It swooped down from the heavens and graced all below with its presence, and for a moment, the small child, looking back as she descended the stairs, felt free.

**Little Bronze Cuckoo**

"Terra, I want to introduce you to Celes. Guess what, she can use magic like you."

The emerald haired girl gazed hesitantly at the figure in front of her. She was much taller, with blonde hair pulled back in a band, and large lucid blue eyes, altogether much more dignified. The young girl tried to stand up on tip toes to reach the same height but she was still several inches shorter than the other girl. Eventually she gave up and stuck out her hand hesitantly.

"Hi, I'm Terra," she told the older girl.

Celes frowned at her. "I know, Cid just introduced us," she said matter-of-factly.

Terra's eyes dropped and she hung her head. "Oh." There was a short silence during which the two girls said nothing and Cid looked on bewildered. Finally, Terra looked up curiously and said, "So can you really use magic? I've never met anyone else who could!"

Celes grinned and nodded. "Watch," she instructed the younger girl, and then turned her attention to the cup in Terra's hand. Then, in surprise, the younger girl dropped the cup and it clattered to the ground, contents frozen solid. Celes burst out laughing and Terra stood still for a few moments, not knowing whether to laugh or be angry. Eventually, the older girl noticed Terra wasn't amused and adopted a contrite expression.

"Sorry," she said apologetically and picked up the cup. She held it for a few moments then handed it back to the girl, liquid contents now sloshing around again. Terra stared into the cup in amazement and poked one finger in cautiously. Then she looked up in awe at the older girl. "That was amazing," she told her.

Celes blushed and wrung her hands together. "Thanks," she mumbled. "I learned how to do it myself. Want me to teach you?" she asked suddenly.

Terra's eyes lit up and she nodded quickly and vigorously. Celes held out her hand to the younger girl and they skipped down the hallway and off into the garden. Watching them from behind, Cid shook his head in amusement.

**Blue Jay**

"Celes?"

"Mhmm?" the girl said absentmindedly as she braided her hair in a mirror.

"Have you ever been outside?"

Celes turned around and looked at her. "Of course, silly. We were outside in the garden just last week, remember?" She shook her head and turned back to the mirror.

Terra frowned and sat back on the bed. "That's not what I meant," she said.

"Well, what did you mean?" the other girl asked her in bewilderment.

"I meant have you ever been outside the castle? I asked Cid where people got enough wood to build the great big table in the dining hall and he said there were trees hundreds of feet tall and five men holding hands couldn't wrap around their trunks. The ones in the garden aren't very big or very tall. Have you ever seen a hundred-foot-tall tree?" she asked earnestly.

Celes scoffed as she turned around from the mirror for the third time. "There's no such trees that tall."

Terra looked at her doubtfully before returning to her inquiry, "Oh, well have you ever been outside the castle?"

This time Celes stayed turned around, her braid forgotten and half-finished behind her head. "Of course I haven't been outside. You know that's not allowed."

Terra nodded and stood up from the bed.

"I know," she said. "I was just wondering."

**Zebra Dove**

Sometimes Terra thought it was a bother sharing a room with her friend.

"No, Terra. I'm not going to do it and neither are you."

They were sitting in the bedroom again and outside the window, afternoon was turning into evening. The shadows were lengthening and casting strange shapes on the walls and floor as the big orange sun sagged lower in the sky. Inside, the room had just been cleaned, and yet it still seemed to show signs of chaos. The covers on the bed had been tossed aside to make room for a meal and a seat, and the rug was turned up at one corner where someone had tripped on entry. The two girls sat on the beds, and Terra had a pout on her face. "Come on," she whined to her friend. "Can't you see how pretty it is?" she asked, gesturing outside.

Celes offered barely a glance outside the window before returning to the book she was reading. "Yes, that's the point. Why can't you watch it from in here?" the older girl shot back.

Terra rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Look at the window," she pointed out. "It's like half a meter by half a meter, and anyway," she continued logically, "you can't even see it from this angle. She craned her head around in odd movements as if to prove her point.

Celes sighed and put down the book. Mentally, Terra counted this as a victory, but retained the determined expression that covered her face. "Terra, you are not sneaking outside to watch the sunset," Celes told her matter-of-factly.

The emerald haired girl pouted. "Come on Celes, we don't even have to go all the way outside. We can just go out into the garden." The castle in Vector formed a U-shape around the garden at the center, in the middle of the three walls. Terra had noticed one evening that the only side that wasn't covered by towering stone was the direction that the sun set in. She couldn't help wondering if it had been built that way on purpose.

Celes shook her head and laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Even that's not allowed. You've head what everyone says, we're not supposed to be out after dark."

Terra sighed as she realized she wasn't going to win this with argument. Changing tactics, she adopted a melancholy look and slumped her shoulders in defeat. "Okay, you win," she sighed and stood up. Then, in one quick motion, she pivoted and sprinted for the door, grabbing Celes' book on the way out for good measure. Before the older girl could register what was occurring, the door was swinging freely on its hinges and Terra's emerald hair was fanning out behind her as she ran down the hallway.

"Terra, oh no you…ARGH!" Celes let out an uncharacteristic yell of frustration and paced around the room several times. Then setting her shoulders, she sprinted out the door after Terra, pausing only to grab a basket on the way out. She navigated the hallways with ease and ended promptly in the garden. The effects of the setting sun were magnified in this strange setting as the shadows of the trees played over each other, layering the ground with levels of increasing darkness. Strange patterns shifted and churned with the wind swaying in the branches.

In the center of the garden sat Terra. Upon hearing footsteps behind her she turned and smiled at Celes, patting the ground beside her. "I knew you would come," she said, a knowing smile crossing her face.

Annoyed, yet still graceful, Celes made her way over to the girl in long strides and smacked her on the back of the head. Terra looked up, scratching her head and said, "I guess I deserved that one." She handed the older girl her book, and Celes sat down gracefully beside her.

There was a long silence as the sun made its way across the sky and the lip dipped below the mountains on the horizon; Terra gazed, eyes fixated on the setting sun, and Celes kept her nose in her book. The sky was painted in brilliant pinks and purples that formed the backdrop for the brilliant orange orb. Birds chipped and the wind rustled through the leaves of the trees, whistling an eery tune. Presently, Terra turned to her friend and asked, "Isn't it pretty? Admit it, it was worth it." Celes looked up grudgingly. She had to admit it was pretty, but she wasn't ready to sympathize with the girl yet. "I'm just here to do the talking if we get caught," she nudged the basket with her elbow. "If anyone asks, we're collecting pieces of glass for Cid to melt down and use in his new machine."

Terra nodded and turned back to the horizon, noting the older girl's line of sight passing over the top of the pages and out at the horizon; she hid a smile. The two girls sat side by side as the sun dipped below the mountains and darkness descended on the landscape.

**Nightingale**

In a dream, Terra woke in a dimly lit cave. As she came to, she observed her body sprawled out upon the cold stone floor, but, startlingly, she realized it was not her own. Blonde hair was fanned out about her head and she wore a thin red dress, torn at the skirt. Head pressed to the ground, she could hear the footsteps echoing about her ears like claps of thunder. Before her eyes, approached a creature of divine right. It bore broad shoulders and fur-covered haunches; above chiseled arms sprouted wispy wings, and great horns from its crown. Too frightened to recoil, Terra was paralyzed in fear as she gazed upon the beast before her. Gray eyes stared down at her, seeming to gaze directly into her soul. Something stirred within her and gradually, she raised her head in acknowledgement; this creature meant her no harm.

Kneeling down, he took her in his arms, but now she felt no fear. Enveloped in his warm embrace, she allowed her eyes to close and her head to loll against her shoulder…

…she lay in a bed in a solitary room. There was a chair in the corner of the room and a hearth at the wall. The door opened with a creak, and the tall figure entered, horns silhouetted against the light from the outside room. He entered calmly and sat down in the chair by the hearth. Gray eyes were lucid and haunting, and as she looked at him a thrill shot through her body. When he opened his mouth, he spoke with a voice rich in tone. "Who are you, and whence did you come?"

Terra felt herself open her mouth and say watched, as if she was a bystander as she said, "My name is Madeline. I am a human. I come from a different land."

The great figure nodded. "I am Maduin. I am an esper. You are in the realm beyond the sealed gate. How came you by this place?"

She tried to remember, but the foreign thoughts were muddled and unable to interpret. "I do not know. I woke in the cave to the north where you found me."

The gray eyes were unblinking and unyielding. They sought truth. "I understand. That is the sealed gate, the link between the human and esper realms. Never since its conception has this barrier been breached. Your coming is a sign."

Puzzled, she tried to ask, "A sign of what?"

But Maduin simply shook his head, gray eyes softening. "Now you must sleep." He stood from his seat and left the room. The door swung shut, and Terra closed her eyes once more…

…When she next awoke, she was in a great hall standing in front of a long table. Seated at the table were creatures of all shape and size. Scaled reptiles, fur-clad mammals, and those of which she had no conception or understanding. Only the great horned head of Maduin near the end of the table was familiar to her, and his gray eyes passed over her, not daring to give her a smile or even a nod, but reassuring her all the same. He at the head of the table stands and speaks. "You stand before the council of the espers."

Terra did not know what to do so she simply nodded. The esper gave her a strange look before continuing, "We come today to determine your fate." Terra nodded again. "Do you wish to remain here with us?"

Terra looked around. The great hall was lined with marble pillars and glowing tapestries and stained glass windows. The espers before her were seated in glorious majesty, elevated from the rest of the room. Through the translucent glass, she could see the lush, green landscape. It was utterly foreign to her, and yet, in her heart, she felt more at home than she had at any point in her life. "Yes," she whispered, "This is what I wish."

"It shall be put to a vote," decreed the esper. He turned to the rest of the gathering at the table...

...she flees, feet pounding against the rocky ground as her blonde hair streams out behind her. She can hear a deep voice crying out in her wake, but she does not turn. Terra does not understand what she is running from, but her legs move all the faster. Then, in front of her looms the mouth of a cave. Its darkness repels her and she can feel her own soul fighting against this foreign will that controls her body. But forward she moves, and descends into darkness. Her feet cross a narrow bridge that sways beneath her. She sways to one side, then the other, then takes a step.

Before her, a swirling picture of light and color. She is called to it, drawn by it, like flies to honey. As she moves forward to embrace it, strong arms wrap around her. She turns, eyes wide in fear, great black bulbs stare back at her. She goes limp in his arms.

"I am an intruder, a foreigner, an other. _Human_," she whispers the word like it is poison. "You heard the council, I am to be deported."

His arms grow tighter around her. She panics as the air is squeezed from her chest. "You are the opportunity to fix this schism between our worlds."

Her eyes grow wide and she shrinks form his gaze. "But the council..."

"If they do not accept you, they will be forced to accept the child."

**Canary**

"How hard do you think it would be?" Terra asked, as the two girls sat on the roof of the castle. The sun was high in the sky and blazing hot so the two girls took shelter under a tree.

Celes rolled her eyes as she looked at the other girl. "When are you going to learn to ask a question clearly?"

Terra ignored her. "Living in the wild out there. You know, camping, fishing, hunting. It can't be hard, and I suppose magic would help," she mused, letting a flame flicker across her fingers and then snuffing it out in a fist.

"Why do you ask so many ridiculous questions," the older girl asked, shaking her head in dismay. Terra looked at her surprised. "Don't you ever wonder?"

Celes shook her head. "Of course not," she said. "I have a bed, and roof, and three meals a day right here. Why should I worry about having to live in the wild?"

Terra looked around, iron bars and gray stone walls looked back. The garden was the only spot of color as far as she could see from inside the castle. "Don't you ever get tired of this place?" she asked.

The older girl looked puzzled. "What's there to get tired of?" she asked, appearing genuinely curious.

"Everything around us," Terra announced in exasperation and Celes looked uncomfortably around, but the garden was empty save for them two. "It's a world of panels and gray scales. Imagine the whole world out there just like this garden only a hundred times bigger. We could come and go as we pleased, eat whenever we wanted, and not have to tell Cid every damn time we want to go get a breath of fresh air!" Terra had grown progressively louder during her rant, and she looked around as if realizing for the first time what she had said. Quietly now she said, "We're living in a cage, and don't tell me you don't see it."

There was an extended silence as Celes said nothing and Terra fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Well say something," Terra told her and the older girl sighed.

"Look, Terra. Maybe we are living in a cage, but who's to say what's out there is better. The grass is always greener, right? And maybe you're right this industrial landscape is nothing to live for, but do you know what I see when I look out my window every night? Dirt, brown grass, and a dying world. Whatever is wrong with the world in here, I can assure you out there-" she pointed to the opening on the walls, "it's much worse."

She looked over at Terra and was surprised to see her shoulders slumped and her eyes downcast. Frowning, she put her hand around Terra's shoulder and leaned back against the trunk. "Look, there are worse places to be."

The girl nodded, her emerald head bobbing glumly and shook off her friend's arm and walked inside. Celes sighed, and after a while she followed her in.

**Peacock**

Celes awoke to the darkness that surrounded the room. It was suffocating and all-encompassing, and yet it was not absolute. In the dim light, she could see the empty bed beside her, covers pushed back in haste, pillow lying abandoned on the floor. She sat up and called uncertainly, "Terra." Darkness and echoes answered back.

She rose quickly, donning a robe and stepped softly to the door which she now noticed was slightly ajar. It was hence that the dim light that lit the room came. Eyes covering the dimly-lit room one last time, she turned and slipped through the door.

Emerging in the hall, she stepped lightly along the pass, heart thudding inexplicably with each noise that sounded in the near darkness. She reached the staircase and ascended, cringing as the penultimate step creaked with a noise divine. She approached the top, and suddenly she was flooded with light. The stars above lit the scene before her, illuminating the figure standing at the prow formed at the corner of the building. Arms extended and chest out, she stood proud, embracing the night sky as an old friend. Her hair was down and the wind blew it up in curtains behind her upturned chin. It fanned out at her back in a web of emerald. She was regal, she was immaculate, she was magnificent. The stars in the sky paid homage to her beauty as they shone down their sacred light. If she squinted, pushing the edge of the roof outside her field of vision, she could imagine the figure in front of her in glorious flight, soaring above the stone walls of the castle and out into the lands beyond…

**Ostrich**

…for the fleetest of moments, Celes felt the urge to call out, but something held her back. She sensed an innate, sparkling beauty about the scene that her presence threatened to destroy. So she observed like this in silence. The longer she watched the greater and more uncomfortable the sense of intrusion grew. She felt completely and utterly alienated by Terra's intrinsic link to the scene; she was a part of it and Celes was not.

She shivered suddenly as the prevailing winds washed over her, unrelenting in their effort to overpower. Their touch was not comforting to Celes, but frigid and biting.

Solemnly, she retreated down the staircase. Only once the stars and the night sky and the biting wind and the majestic figure perched atop her throne had disappeared and she was safe within her fortress of stone did Celes feel at ease. Cid had taken her on an airship once when she was a little girl. The skies had tore at her hair and been as painful as they were tonight; Celes could not stand flight.

**Rooster**

"Celes how come you never come to see me anymore?" Terra asked as she cornered the girl in a room. "It seems like you're always off on some official business somewhere or other. I didn't know being a general was such a big deal."

The general smiled her apology. "I know Terra, I'm really sorry. I promise I'll work something out soon."

"How about tomorrow?"

A shadow crossed Celes' face and her gaze fell guiltily. "I can't tomorrow, I've got a meeting with the king of Figaro. The treaty is not on very stable legs and the emperor needs someone to go work things out."

"Figures," Terra said sarcastically. "And how is the emperor faring these days?"

Celes adopted a puzzled look, "I assume he is well. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," Terra told her, trying and failing to keep a cold edge out of her voice that Celes didn't fail to notice.

"Terra, is something wrong?" she asked calmly.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Of course nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I'm sure tomorrow's negotiations will go just as well as Maranda's."

Guilt turned to pain, and Terra knew she was on dangerous ground but she didn't care. "Please Terra, don-"

"Oh, please Terra, don't worry Terra, let's not talk about it Terra, why don't you go talk about it with the emperor then."

A hard light formed behind the general's eyes, a glare that dared her to continue, and for a moment Terra felt apprehensive. But she swallowed it down. "Fourteen dead," she said, now a whisper. "How can you continue to serve him."

So very rarely did Celes lose her composure. And when she did show emotion it was usually of the barest variety, happiness, displeasure, anger. She took two steps forward until she was directly in front of Terra. "And you," she jabbed a finger at the younger girl, "All high and mighty. Making judgements while you sit alone in your room all day. I am serving my state and my emperor in the way I know how, more than I can say for you."

Astonished, Terra looked up at her friend. In some ways, very little had changed since they were kids. Terra was still much shorter than Celes and now she stood on her toes once more as she opened her mouth. "You serve a corrupt state and a corrupt emperor," she spat. "You think this position as general gives you freedom, but it does nothing to lift the cage around you. In fact, it tightens it, and the only difference now is instead of just being a prisoner you're a puppet as well!"

Celes took another step forward and her extended finger now poked Terra in the chest. "The empire is not corrupt, you're just jealous I got the position instead of you. You witch."

"Take your hand off me," came the voice, low and cold. A fire burned behind Terra's eyes and Celes could feel the energy swirling just underneath the surface, but now it was directed at her. Celes backed away, and facing the emerald hair billowing around her face, she circled the girl and retreated out the door. It swung shut as she left as the light dimmed behind Terra's eyes, and she felt the magic and adrenaline leave her. Then, as she slowly came to her senses, she fell to the floor shaking and a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the cold stone.

**Great Horned Owl**

"Get out of my way," the general roared as she shoved a sentry aside and barreled down a hallway.

Celes had been gone all day on a mission to Figaro and was tired and ready to sleep when she had returned to Vector. But as soon as she had come within sight of the castle she had sensed something was wrong. And then she saw the smoke. The envoy raced towards the huge stone walls of the city. A company split off to go identify the source of the fire, and the rest escorted General Celes into the castle.

She had been met by Cid at the steps of the entrance who had pulled her into a rough embrace. "Thank god you are alright."

She nodded and then pulled back. "What happened here?"

Suddenly, the man grew grim. Hesitating, he told her, "...Somebody...put fire to the soldier's barracks. The whole damn building went up in flames. Fifty of them killed in the blink of an eye."

"Who?"

The old man simply shook his head.

"Who was it?"

His eyes downcast, he muttered into the dark stone floors, "Kefka and Gestahl pushed her too far. They, they-"

"Cid, who burned the barracks."

He just looked on sadly, lost in the terror of the event.

She sprinted down the hallways and skidded to a stop in front of Terra's room, kicking open the door. The room was empty. Turning in her tracks, she ran blindly until she encountered a servant. "Where's Terra?"she asked urgently, fear rising in her voice.

The servant frowned. "That green-haired witch who burned the barracks? She was taken to the dungeons," she said contemptuously.

Celes left the servant behind before she was done speaking, sprinting for the stairs…

**Lappet-faced Vulture**

…as she reached the rickety tunnel that led into the dungeon and descended the stairs she heard an odd cackle. "Why General Celes, what brings you down here?"

From the darkness, stepped a flamboyant figure with a painted face, dressed in reds, yellows, and vibrant greens. He was smiling an inhuman smile as he slowly approached Celes. "Kefka, tell me where Terra is," she said softly.

The clown's smile grew even bigger, if possible. "Why I'm afraid she's...occupied at the moment, but you can go and see her tomorrow, I assure you," he said, giving her a little bow…

**Mockingbird**

…it was so damn dark. Celes closed her eyes and summoned the power inside of her. Channeling it through the stale air, she lit the torches lining the wall with an illuminating light. The hall was lined with rows of cells. Most were empty, but the one nearest her was occupied by a small figure kneeling at the wall. Celes' heart stopped. "Terra!" she screamed, and descended the stairs in a flight of fury.

The figure looked up and rose to a standing position. If it were not for her immaculate composition, Celes may have broke down right there. Terra's eyes were black and lifeless and her emerald hair fell in burnt strands about her pale face. Her blank gaze seemed to pass straight through Celes.

The clown smiled and cackled again. "Well, isn't that tragic! She doesn't seem to recognize you."

Celes turned, fury and fear mixing behind her eyes. "Kefka," she screamed, hand leaping to the hilt at her hip. "What have you done to her? Tell me or I'll-"

Suddenly, his joking manner dropped and the temperature in the room seemed to plummet. "Or what, may I ask?" the clown asked, still smiling, eyes twinkling dangerously.

"Kefka!" she screamed again and leapt at him.

"Well there's no need to be rude," Kefka assured her, batting her hand out of the way with surprising reflexes and grabbing her by the back of the neck. "There'll be plenty of time to have a nice reunion with your little pet tomorrow." And he started up the stairway, leading Celes firmly, with an iron hand on her neck, back into the main castle. She struggled at first, but as they ascended from the dungeon, her arms dropped to their sides in a gesture of defeat.

He led her to her room, prodded her in and shut the door with a slam. She stood there for a moment before she sank to the floor slowly, and then General Celes cried. She cried for her imprisonment and for her blindness. She cried for stone walls and damp floors that now encased her friend. She cried for all that she had lost and all that she would lose. And she cried for Terra's ability to see through the bars and out into a lush, green world, and her inability to do the same.

**Black Swan**

Celes returned to the dungeons the next day to find Terra gone. Cid told her that she had been assigned a mission to go to Narshe and retrieve an esper that had been uncovered in the mines.

"Terra? Cooperating with the empire?" she had asked him incredulously.

Cid had shook his head in sorrow. "I doubt she had much of a choice," he confessed. "She did kill fifty soldiers after all."

Celes had left after that, unable to hear anymore. She locked herself in her room for three days, leaving food that was pushed under the door untouched, watching as the plates piled up, rotted, and were set on by insects. She tried to cry, but she found she had no tears left. She spent the time looking out her tiny one-and-a-half foot by one-and-a-half foot window and trying to see things through Terra's eyes. But to her, the whole landscape, as far as she could see through her little window, was barren and dry and dead.

When General Celes emerged from her room after the third day she was a different person. To those with relations before, she had been gentle and kind, but slightly reserved. Now she was ice cold. She received the news of Bicks, Wedge, and Terra's death without flinching. She returned to her post as general and completed missions with ruthless efficiency, not balking at inhumanity and torture to achieve her goals.

One day, as she left the throne room after being debriefed, Emperor Gestahl smiled to himself. He was quite impressed with what they had created. He would need to congratulate Kefka on how expertly the whole situation had been orchestrated.


	3. Of The Fall

_the_

F A L L

- BlindManOnLadder -

**~ :i: ~**

"Two men look through the same bars: one sees mud and one the stars"

- Frederick Langbridge -

**~ I ~**

"Terra, I want to introduce you to Celes. Guess what, she can use magic like you."

The emerald haired girl gazed hesitantly at the figure in front of her. She was much taller, with blonde hair pulled back in a band, and large lucid blue eyes, altogether much more dignified. The young girl tried to stand up on tip toes to reach the same height but she was still several inches shorter than the other girl. Eventually she gave up and stuck out her hand hesitantly.

"Hi, I'm Terra," she told the older girl.

Celes frowned at her. "I know, Cid just introduced us," she said matter-of-factly.

Terra's eyes dropped and she hung her head. "Oh." There was a short silence during which the two girls said nothing and Cid looked on bewildered. Finally, Terra looked up curiously and said, "So can you really use magic? I've never met anyone else who could!"

Celes grinned and nodded. "Watch," she instructed the younger girl, and then turned her attention to the cup in Terra's hand. Then, in surprise, the younger girl dropped the cup and it clattered to the ground, contents frozen solid. Celes burst out laughing and Terra stood still for a few moments, not knowing whether to laugh or be angry. Eventually, the older girl noticed Terra wasn't amused and adopted a contrite look.

"Sorry," she said apologetically and picked up the cup. She held it for a few moments then handed it back to the girl, liquid contents now sloshing around again. Terra looked into the cup in amazement and poked one finger in cautiously. Then she looked up in awe at the older girl. "That was amazing," she told her.

Celes blushed and wrung her hands together. "Thanks," she mumbled. "I learned how to do it myself. Want me to teach you?" she asked suddenly.

Terra's eyes lit up and she nodded quickly and vigorously. Celes held out her hand to the younger girl and they skipped down the hallway and off into the garden. Watching them from behind, Cid shook his head in amusement.

**~ II ~**

"Celes?"

"Mhmm?" the girl said absentmindedly as she braided her hair in a mirror.

"Have you ever been outside?"

Celes turned around and looked at her. "Of course, silly. We were outside in the garden just last week, remember?" She shook her head and turned back to the mirror.

Terra frowned and sat back on the bed. "That's not what I meant," she said.

"Well what did you mean?" the other girl asked her in bewilderment.

"I meant have you ever been outside the castle? I asked Cid where people got enough wood to build the great big table in the dining hall and he said there were trees hundreds of feet tall and five men holding hands couldn't wrap around their trunks. The ones in the garden aren't very big or very tall. Have you ever seen a hundred-foot-tall tree?" she asked earnestly.

Celes scoffed as she turned around from the mirror for the third time. "There's no such trees that tall."

Terra looked at her doubtfully before returning to her inquiry, "Oh, well have you ever been outside the castle?"

This time Celes stayed turned around, her braid forgotten and half finished behind her head. "Of course I haven't been outside. You know that's not allowed."

Terra nodded and stood up from the bed.

"I know," she said. "I was just wondering."

**~ III ~**

"No, Terra. I'm not going to do it and neither are you."

They were sitting in Terra's room again and outside the window afternoon was turning into evening. The shadows began to lengthen and the big orange sun was sagging lower in the sky. Terra had a pout on her face as she nudged her friend and pointed at the window.

"Come on, can't you see how pretty it is," she said gesturing outside.

"Yes, that's the point. Why can't you watch it from in here?" the older girl shot back.

Terra rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Look at the window," she pointed out. "It's like one-and-a-half feet by one-and-a-half feet. And anyway," she continued logically, "you can't even see it from this angle."

Celes sighed and put down the book she had been reading. "Terra you are not going to escape outside to watch the sunset."

The emerald haired girl pouted. "Come on Celes, we don't even have to go all the way outside. We can just go out into the garden."

The palace in Vector formed a U-shape around the garden at the center, in the middle of the three walls. Terra had noticed that the one only wall that wasn't covered was the direction that the sun set in. She couldn't help wondering if it had been built that way on purpose.

Celes shook her head laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Even that's not allowed. You've heard what everyone says, we're not supposed to be out after dark."

"Okay, you win," she sighed and stood up walking towards the bed. Then in one quick motion, she pivoted and sprinted for the door, grabbing Celes' book on the way for good measure. Before the older girl could register what was going on the door was swinging freely on its hinges and Terra's emerald hair was fanning out behind her as she ran down the hall.

"Terra, oh no you...ARGH!" Celes let out an uncharacteristic yell of frustration and paced around the room several times. Then setting her shoulders she sprinted out the door after Terra, pausing only to grab a basket on the way out. She navigated the hallways with the ease of someone who has spent every waking hour wandering them and ended up out in the garden. Turning around Terra smiled and patted the ground next to her, "I knew you would come."

Celes made her way over to the girl in long strides and smacked her on the back of the head. Terra looked up at her scratching her head and said, "I guess I deserved that one." She handed Celes her book, and the girl sat down gracefully beside her.

There was a long silence as the sun made its way across the sky and the lip dipped below the mountains on the horizon, with Terra looking up at the sky and Celes with her nose in the book. The sky was painted in brilliant pinks and purples that formed a backdrop for the brilliant orange sun. Presently, Terra turned to her friend and asked, "Isn't it pretty? Admit it, it was worth it." Celes looked up grudgingly. She had to admit it was pretty, but she wasn't ready to sympathize with the girl yet. "I'm just here to do the talking if we get caught. If anyone asks, we're looking for the pieces of glass for Cid to melt down and use in his new machine."

Terra nodded and turned back to the horizon, noting the other girl's line of sight passing over the top of the pages and out at the horizon. She hid a smile. The two girls sat side by side as the sun dipped below the mountains and darkness descended on the landscape.

**~ IV ~**

"How hard do you think it would be?" Terra asked, as the two girls were tending to the garden. The sun was high in the sky and blazing hot so the two girls took shelter under a tree.

Celes rolled her eyes as she looked at the other girl. "When are you going to learn to ask a question clearly?"

Terra ignored her. "Living in the wild out there. You know, camping, fishing, hunting. It can't be hard, and I suppose magic would help," she mused, letting a flame flicker across her fingers and then snuffing it out in a fist.

"Why do you ask so many ridiculous questions," the older girl asked, shaking her head in dismay. Terra looked at her surprised. "Don't you ever wonder?"

Celes shook her head. "Of course not," she said. "I have a bed, and roof, and three meals a day right here. Why should I worry about having to live in the wild?"

Terra looked around, the dreary landscape and gray stone walls looked back. The garden was the only spot of color as far as she could see from inside the castle. "Don't you ever get tired of this place?" she asked.

The older girl looked puzzled. "What's there to get tired of?" she asked, seemingly genuinely curious.

"Everything around us," Terra announced in exasperation and Celes looked uncomfortably around. But the garden was empty save for them two. "It's a world of panels and gray scales. Imagine the whole world out there just like this garden only a hundred times bigger. We could come and go as we pleased, eat whenever we wanted, and not have to tell Cid every damn time we want to go get a breath of fresh air!" Terra had grown progressively louder during her rant, and she looked around as if realizing for the first time what she had said. Quietly, she said, "We're living in a cage, and don't tell me you don't see it."

There was an extended silence as Celes said nothing and Terra fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Well say something," Terra told her and the older girl sighed.

"Look, Terra. Maybe we are living in a cage, but who's to say what's out there is better. The grass is always greener, right? And maybe you're right this industrial landscape is nothing to live for, but do you know what I see when I look out my window every night? Dirt, dead grass, and a dying world. Whatever is wrong with the world in here, I can assure you out there-" she pointed to the opening on the walls, "it's much worse."

She looked over at Terra and was surprised to see her shoulders slumped and her eyes downcast. Frowning, she put her hand around Terra's shoulder and leaned back against the trunk. "Look, there are worse places to be."

The girl nodded, her emerald head bobbing glumly and shook off her friend's arm and walked inside. Celes sighed, and after a while she followed her in.

**~ V ~**

"Celes how come you never come to see me anymore?" Terra asked as she cornered the girl in a room. "It seems like you're always off on some official business somewhere or other. I didn't know being a general was such a big deal."

The general smiled her apology. "I know Terra, I'm really sorry. I promise I'll work something out soon."

"How about tomorrow?"

A shadow crossed Celes' face and her gaze fell guiltily. "I can't tomorrow, I've got a meeting with the king of Figaro. The treaty is not on very stable legs and the emperor needs someone to go work things out."

"Figures," Terra said sarcastically. "And how is the emperor faring these days?"

Celes adopted a puzzled look, "I assume he is well. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," Terra told her, trying and failing to keep a cold edge out of her voice that Celes didn't fail to notice.

"Terra, is something wrong?" she asked calmly.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Of course nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I'm sure tomorrow's negotiations will go just as well as Maranda's."

Guilt turned to pain, and Terra knew she was on dangerous ground but she didn't care. "Please Terra, don-"

"Oh, please Terra, don't worry Terra, let's not talk about it Terra, why don't you go talk about it with the emperor then."

A hard light formed behind the general's eyes, a glare that dared her to continue, and for a moment Terra felt apprehensive. But she swallowed it down. "Fourteen dead," she said, now a whisper. "How can you continue to serve him."

So very rarely did Celes lose her composure. And when she did show emotion it was usually of the barest variety, happiness, displeasure, anger. She took two steps forward until she was directly in front of Terra. "And you," she jabbed a finger at the younger girl, "All high and mighty. Making judgements while you sit alone in your room all day. I am serving my state and my emperor in the way I know how, more than I can say for you."

Astonished, Terra looked up at her friend. In some ways, very little had changed since they were kids. Terra was still much shorter than Celes and now she stood on her toes once more as she opened her mouth. "You serve a corrupt state and a corrupt emperor," she spat. "You think this position as general gives you freedom, but it does nothing to lift the cage around you. In fact, it tightens it, and the only difference now is instead of just being a prisoner you're a puppet as well!"

Celes took another step forward and her extended finger now poked Terra in the chest. "The empire is not corrupt, you're just jealous I got the position instead of you. You witch."

"Take your hand off me," came the voice, low and cold. A fire burned behind Terra's eyes and Celes could feel the energy swirling just underneath the surface, but now it was directed at her. Celes backed away, and facing the emerald hair billowing around her face, she circled the girl and retreated out the door. It swung shut as she left as the light behind Terra's eyes as she felt the magic and adrenaline leave her. Then, as she slowly came to her senses, she fell to the floor shaking and a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the cold stone.

**~ VI ~**

"Get out of my way," the general roared as she shoved a sentry aside and barreled down a hallway.

Celes had been gone all day on a mission to Figaro and was tired and ready to sleep when she had returned to Vector. But as soon as she had come within sight of the castle she had sensed something was wrong. And then she saw the smoke. The envoy raced towards the huge stone walls of the city. A company split off to go identify the source of the fire, and the rest escorted General Celes into the castle.

She had been met by Cid at the steps of the entrance who had pulled her into a rough embrace. "Thank god you are alright."

She nodded and then pulled back. "What happened here?"

Suddenly, the man grew grim. Hesitating, he told her, "...Somebody...put fire to the soldier's barracks. The whole damn building went up in flames. Fifty of them killed in the blink of an eye."

"Who?"

The old man simply shook his head.

"Who was it?"

His eyes downcast, he muttered into the dark stone floors, "Kefka and Gestahl pushed her too far. They, they-"

"Cid, who burned the barracks."

He just looked on sadly, lost in the terror of the event.

She sprinted down the hallways and skidded to a stop in front of Terra's room, kicking open the door. The room was empty. Turning in her tracks, she ran blindly until she encountered a servant. "Where's Terra?"she asked urgently, fear rising in her voice.

The servant frowned. "That green-haired witch who burned the barracks? She was taken to the dungeons," she said contemptuously.

Celes left the servant behind before she was done speaking, sprinting for the stairs. As she reached the rickety tunnel that descended into the dungeon she heard an odd cackle. "Why General Celes, what brings you down here?"

From the darkness, stepped a flamboyant figure with a painted face, dressed in reds, yellows, and vibrant greens. He was smiling an inhuman smile as he slowly approached Celes. "Kefka, tell me where Terra is," she said softly.

The clown's smile grew even bigger, if possible. "Why I'm afraid she's...occupied at the moment, but you can go and see her tomorrow, I assure you," he said, giving her a little bow.

"I'm in no mood for your jokes, Kefka. Move out of the way or-"

Suddenly, his joking manner dropped and the temperature in the room seemed to plummet. "Or what, may I ask?" the clown asked, still smiling, eyes twinkling dangerously.

"Just move!"

"Well there's no need to be rude," Kefka assured her. "There'll be plenty of time to visit your little pet tomorrow." And he started up the stairway, leading Celes firmly, with an iron hand on her neck, back into the main castle.

He led her to her room, prodded her in and shut the door with a slam. She stood there for a moment before she sank to the floor slowly, and then General Celes cried. She cried for her imprisonment and for her blindness. She cried for stone walls and damp floors that now encased her friend. She cried for all that she had lost and all that she would lose. And she cried for Terra's ability to see through the bars and out into a lush, green world; and her inability to do the same.

**~ VII ~**

Celes returned to the dungeons the next day to find Terra gone. Cid told her that she had been assigned a mission to go to Narshe and retrieve an esper that had been uncovered in the mines.

"Terra? Cooperating with the empire?" she had asked him incredulously.

Cid had shook his head in sorrow. "I doubt she had much of a choice," he confessed. "She did kill fifty soldiers after all."

Celes had left after that, unable to hear anymore. She locked herself in her room for three days, leaving food that was pushed under the door untouched, watching as the plates piled up, rotted, and were set on by insects. She tried to cry, but she found she had no tears left. She spent the time looking out her tiny one-and-a-half foot by one-and-a-half foot window and trying to see things through Terra's eyes. But to her, the whole landscape, as far as she could see through her little window, was barren and dry and dead.

When General Celes emerged from her room after the third day she was a different person. To those with relations before, she had been gentle and kind, but slightly reserved. Now she was ice cold. She received the news of Bicks, Wedge, and Terra's death without flinching. She returned to her post as general and completed missions with ruthless efficiency, not balking at inhumanity and torture to achieve her goals.

One day, as she left the throne room after being debriefed, Emperor Gestahl smiled to himself. He was quite impressed with what they had created. He would need to congratulate Kefka on how expertly the whole situation had been orchestrated.

**~ :i: ~**

_The caged bird sings  
A fearful trill  
Of things unknown  
But longed for still  
And his tune is heard  
On the distant hill  
_

_For the caged bird sings of freedom_


End file.
